This girl has even bigger ambitions than you do.

Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself. Know what you want.
White Oleander

It’s lonely here in this monotonous every day sameness of small city life with the same group of people to revolve around day after day after day after day. I think I can handle at least a few more months of this...
Recently I've learned a lot of life’s hard lessons. I toughed it out, well.. through most of it. Now, I’m changing the pace. I also very recently seemingly lost something very precious to me. Not only to my heart, but to my head and the rest of my body. Sympathy? No thanks. Empathy? Maybe. I just want you to know...I hope you're happy. Sincerely. And that you don’t regret me. Change your life. I will always miss you, and I will always be here for you, waiting to be your friend. To be whatever it is you need. If you haven't realized by now, that is my special power. My 6th sense. You are and always will be my best friend. Admittedly in the past I may have held my tongue. I don’t anymore. I spent a lot of time trying to understand people and want to surround myself with people that are able to love, support, and better me.

Don't Let Anyone Scare You

First semester into college and I am already breaking down. Now I understand why the average dropout rate for college freshman is through the roof. Although my classes are difficult, I am determined to excel in each and every one. Within these few months of self-realization, my decided major is pre-pharmacy. Although one of the hardest professions, I will succeed. For my pre-pharmacy bachelors degree, I am required to take Pre Calculus, Calculus, Statistics, Biology 1&2, Chemistry 1&2, Physics 1&2, and finally Organic Chemistry 1&2.
Boy do I have a bumpy ride ahead of me.

Complete happiness?

I'm not simple but I'm trying to simplify. I'm loyal but I have trouble trusting. I'm rarely at a loss for words. I tend not to take care of myself. I'm actually really nice which seems to surprise people. I can make people laugh. I'm really extremely vulgar and random. I tend to have more fun than not. If you love me, I'll find a way to drive you off.

The moment i decided to care about myself I met you. You loved me before I even knew you. My life has always been about everyone but me. For once, its about me, its about us, and its about feeling like we're the only people on the face of this earth. I may have lost my so-called-friends in the process, but I don’t think of it that way. Maybe I just realized how much I can be in this life. Maybe you've just made me realize what I’m capable of becoming. I’d like to think you came to me just when I needed you most, to show me how you're supposed to love someone.

Things Have Changed for Me and Thats Okay --Patd

Applied for Piedmont in Athens.
Still waiting for the acceptance into GA State.
Grandpa passed away. Wednesday.
Relatives are here from across the United States.
Stressful.
Unexpected.
Rainy & Gloomy weather.
Church. Church. more Church.
Much needed.
New York with my best friends.
This upcoming Wednesday.
Packing.

Amount to something.

“To be nobody but yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

I’ve seen what the Milky Way looks like from the rest of the world, but underneath the gorgeous black horizon, I’ve seen the most disturbing thing. When it gets right down to it, beyond our subtle differences in ethnicity, religion, and culture, we are all the same.

"Life is a play and we are all unrehearsed."
We choose the role we have in it.
Some play the heroes.
Some play the victims.
I don’t want to end up being another piece of shit in a cubicle working to make someone else rich.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge to see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center. When the curtain falls on my existence I want to be proud of my accomplishments.

Sincerity.

I think the scene has overexpanded and is going to collapse on itself pretty damn soon.

People disappoint me. People disgust me. Occasionally I'm pleasantly mistaken I've grown out of a lot things and people. All the things I aspired to really are not that great now that I have them. Modern life frustrates the hell out of me. I'm trying to change my life. Become more positive. I have too many passing acquaintances and my phonebook is packed with insincerity. I'm ready to move on. I want more in life than the coolest new hairstyle. It is all about image and I'm not going to Photoshop my life to meet your current perception of what perfection is.

I have a lot of bad memories I could do without but they make me who I am today. I've tried to live a lot of my life as a constant Saturday night but as I succeed more and more I begin to realize that maybe the things I wanted so badly weren't all I thought they would be.
I probably wont be what you expect. Its up to you if that’s a good thing or not. I know my blogs are angst as hell but I'm not typically like that. I only write when im troubled. Usually.

I'm really not interested in your social games and DRAMA. Please don't try to get me in the middle of it. Everyone needs to get over this high school mentality.
My best friends are nuts but they keep me sane. I love them for it.
Im tired of this generation. Im tired of the thought that in ten years we will have a nation of pissed off, pierced and tattooed kids pumping gas and engaging in high school DRAMA. I respect people who don’t act like idiots, sluts, tough guys, meatheads, or potheads. I'm nice to everyone unless they give me reason not to. If you heard differently you definitely did not hear the whole story. I have seen a lot of needless grief so excuse me if I don’t want your worthless DRAMA. Really.
We are a generation obsessed with ourselves. The internet and cell phones were created to connect people. I believe it has only made us more isolated. Every show is a contest of who has the most acquaintances they can superficially hug and move on to find the next person. We Photoshop our lives to take out each genuine imperfection and replace it with a plastic image of who we feel we should be. All originality has been lost to dyed black hair, ripped tights and asymmetrical hair.
To me, it’s all about sincerity.